The Troubles of King Edmund The Just
by milkywaymidnight
Summary: A Golden Age fic.While on a diplomatic mission to Archenland,Prince Rabadash holds King Edmund & Queen Susan captive until she agrees to marry him. Can Peter and Lucy rescue them in time?Warnings for rape & Edmund/Susan starting at Chapter 13! FINISHED!
1. The capture

**Summary: **A Golden Age fic. While on a diplomatic mission to Archenland, Prince Rabadash holds King Edmund and Queen Susan captive until she agrees to marry him. Can Peter and Lucy rescue them in time?

**Warning/Disclaimer:** Warning for very mild incest, mild torture and violence. I own absolutely nothing. Everything belongs to C.S Lewis. No money will be made from this story.

**Pairing:**Edmund/Susan

**A/N:** I can't believe it's been so long since I wrote anything for Narnia that I thought someone else might actually want to read! Edmund is my favorite character. So yeah. He's the main character in most of my stories. Not that I have many written yet. Hopefully that will change! Anyway. Enjoy!

**Chapter wordcount:**1,026

**Chapter One: **The Capture

King Edmund groggily blinked his eyes open, and found himself chained to a stone wall. As he remembered what happened, his eyes widened in alarm, and he quickly looked around for Susan, who he found was chained to the same wall next to him. She looked to still be out of it, but appeared to be unharmed otherwise, for which he was grateful.

"Susan," he called over to her, trying to wake her up. She stirred, but didn't wake.

"Sue!" he called again, a little louder. _'Please Aslan, let her be alright!'_

Her eyes flutter open slowly, and she stared at him curiously.

"Edmund?" She tried to move and her eyes widened when she discovered that she was in the same predicament as him. The door to the barely lit up room burst open, and Prince Rabadash strolled in.

"Ah, you're awake." His eyes landed on Susan and Edmund glared at the possessive way he looked at her.

"Why have you done this to us?" Edmund demanded.

The Prince looked back at him as if the answer to that question should be obvious.

"Why to try and convince Queen Susan to become my Queen of course."

Edmund felt his blood boil at hearing this.

There was no way in hell his sister was going to marry this scum bag.

"The High King Peter and myself would have your head before that were to happen," he spat, causing the Prince to narrow his eyes dangerously at him, and make his way towards Susan. "Get away from her!" the Just King of Narnia hissed, straining against his bonds, but Rabadash simply gave him an evil smirk, and knelt down before Susan, grabbed her chin, and forced her to look him in the eyes.

Edmund felt the need to kill.

"You will become my Queen, or watch your brother die a most horrible death," the Prince threatened, and Edmund saw the conflict in Susan's eyes. _'How can she even be considering Marrying this monster?_'

"Sue, no!" he pleaded, shaking his head, pleading her with his eyes to not give into his demands.

She looked back at him with sorrow in her eyes before the Prince forced her to look at him again.

"Shut up, you!" the Prince snapped, facing him. "This decision is not up to you." He then faced Susan again, and glared angrilly at her through narrowed eyes. "Well?"

"I would rather die!" she spat, earning a slap across the face, and Edmund pulled at his bonds so hard that he felt blood flow.

"I promise you will pay for dare laying a hand on my sister," he seethed, glaring murderously at Rabadash.

"And I promise you death unless your sister agrees to become my Queen," the Prince retorted, glaring just as murderously back at him, then turned his attention back to Susan again, and smoothed the backs of his fingers down her cheek in a caress, but there was nothing gentle or tender about it. Rabadash was just mocking him, Edmund knew.

"I will give you until tomorrow morning to change your mind. If not?" He looked towards Edmund in a suggestive manner and the Just King wanted to strangle this beast so badly. The Prince then stood back up, and walked out.

Susan glared after, lowering her head sadly once he shut the door behind himself.

Edmund did not like the giving up look in her eyes.

"I can't do it, Edmund. I can't watch him torture you."

Edmund knew where this was going and shook his head frantically.

"You can't marry him Sue," he argued, hoping she'd listen to reason.

"I have to. I can't watch him kill you," she argued back. Edmund could see that she was fighting back tears, and his heart skipped a beat. He hated it when his sisters' cried. He really did.

"I'm sure Peter and Lucy will get us out before then," he tried to reassure her, but she shook her head in denial.

"Edmund, they don't even know what Prince Rabadash has done yet. And it will most likely be days before they do. You could be dead by then. And I can't let that happen. I just can't!"

Edmund felt like he had been kicked in the stomach, but he wasn't about to give up his sister without a fight.

"And I can't let you marry the likes of him. I would rather die too. Give Peter and Lucy a chance, Susan. Please!" he resorted to pleading, hoping she'd agree. She shared a long look with him, and Edmund could tell she was at war with herself. In the end though, she nodded, looking away guiltily. He knew she was already blaming herself for the suffering he would have to go through. He wanted her to know that it wasn't her fault.

"It's not your fault, Susan. Please don't blame yourself for what happens to me."

She shook her head again.

"I always blame myself, or Peter. We know that you and Lucy are capable of looking after yourselves now, but we still feel responsible for your safety. And if anything happens to you, it will be my fault. If I hadn't insisted on coming along with you in the first place to meet the Prince..."

"Then I would've had a boring trip," he interrupted, trying to lighten the mood, and gave her a smile. It was the truth though. He enjoyed spending some time with Susan, who he hardly ever got to spend any time alone with anymore. Peter and/or Lucy was always there too. She smiled a little back, but turned serious again.

"Edmund, I'm serious. If it comes down to it, I will marry him."

Edmund sighed. He knew it was pointless to argue with Susan once she'd made up her mind about something, and decided to just agree with her, for now.

"I'm sure it wont come to that Susan," he said, trying to comfort her, and prayed that Peter and Lucy will come to their rescue soon.

**TBC**

**PLEASE REVIEW! **_**They really mean a lot to me! **_

Review this ChapterReport Possible AbuseAdd Story to FavoritesAdd Story to Story AlertAdd Author to FavoritesAdd Author to Author AlertAdd Story to Community 1. Chapter 12. Fall to pieces3. I'll watch over you4. Rivalry5. Courage6. Talking7. Consequences8. Let me be your shield9. A Dream of a Dream10. Running away11. What if?

Return to Top


	2. Fall to pieces

**A/N: **_There is warning for rape in this chapter. Hopefully it's not too graphic though. I'm trying to keep it rated T. Anyway. Hope you enjoy! Even though this chapter's dark and angsty._

**Chapter wordcount:**1, 553

**Chapter Two:**Fall to pieces

The following morning came too soon for Edmund, and he found himself observing Susan sleep. She had fought it, until she couldn't anymore, and he was grateful when she finally gave in. He dreaded what lay ahead for them, but he was determined to be strong for her. She was twitching, as if having a nightmare. He had a good guess of what it was about when she suddenly cried out his name, pleading with him not to leave her alone here. And if he could, he would reach over, and caress her cheek just to let her know he was still there, and that he wouldn't ever leave her alone in this hell hole.

"I'm here, Susan. I'm here," he whispered, hoping it would be a comfort to her, even if just a little. Her twitching subsided somewhat, but he could still hear a sniff here and there.

Suddenly the doors burst open again, and Rabadash strode in, followed by the two same guards that were with him the night before.

"Let her sleep a little longer," he demanded more than snapped, earning a deadly glare from the Prince, who crouched down besides, Susan.

"You are in no position to make demands, King Edmund," Rabadash snapped, turning his attention back to Susan, and Edmund could only obsearve, appalled, and helpless, as the Prince then rudely awakened his lovely sister by kissing her. Her eyes widened in surprise, then shock, and she tried to shake him off.

Edmund could contain his outrage no longer.

"Stop it!" he hollered, only to have the Prince deepen the kiss.

"Please!" He hated to beg, but he despised watching this creep kiss his sister even more. The Prince all the sudden stopped, stepping back. Susan had tears streaming down her cheeks and he would give anything to be able to wipe them away. "Susan, are you alright?" She didn't respond and Edmund felt his blood boil.

"Marry me?" Rabadash demanded more than asked.

"No," she spat, earning her another slap across the face.

"You bastard!" Edmund yelled at the top of his lungs, fighting against his bonds. He swore that at first opportunity he was going to kill the piece of shit, but he was going to make him suffer first. Just as he had made Susan suffer.

The Prince just ignored him, pulling out a dagger.

"Very well then."

Edmund knew it was coming and vowed that he would not cry in front of Susan. "Can you at least torture me in another room?" he asked hopefully. He would give anything to spare his precious sister this nightmare.

The Prince merely grinned evilly.

"Now what would be the fun in that?"

Edmund dared not share a glance with Susan and risk seeing the agonizing fear in her eyes.

The Prince raised the dagger to his cheek, and lifted his shirt with his empty hand.

"Edmund," he heard Susan choke back a sob, but he shook his head, silently telling her not to interfere.

"Don't watch, Susan! Just don't watch," he begged, but knew there was no chance of that, since the sick and twisted Prince wanted her to witness everything.

"When I'm finished with you. I will take my time with her, and make it hurt, and she will love me for it. Or even better yet. Maybe I'll take my time with her first, and make you watch, before I torture you, then kill you. Yes, that would be even more satisfying."

Edmund eyes filled with terror when he understood what the Prince was actually implying. "NOOOO! Do what want you want with me. But please just leave my sister alone. You sick-twisted freak!" he seethed, gritting his teeth.

The Prince ignored him, and forced himself on Susan, who screamed in fear and pain, but she had no way of defending herself. Still, she tried to shake him off helplessly anyway.

"NOOOO! PLEASE! EDMUND," she cried, but he could do nothing but watch in absolute horror as her body was violated in the worst possible way. Rape. His stomach churned, and he retched up what little he had of food the day before.

He had failed to protect Susan, and Peter was going to kill him, but right now, he didn't care.

Every heart wrenching scream and sob made him want to kill himself for failing to protect her.

When it was finally over, she was leaning against the wall with her eyes shut tightly, as if trying to block everything out, and she was clutching at her stomach in pain. Edmund would give anything to be able to hold her in his arms and never let her go.

If he wasn't so just, he would declare war on Archenland then and there. But he knew it wasn't right to punish the actions of one man on all his people. Still, Peter might when he sees the bruises on Susan. But he hoped that his older brother would leave Rabadash for him to deal with.

The Prince thankfully put his clothes back on, before making his way back towards Edmund with narrowed eyes, and retrieved the dagger. He waved it threateningly in front of his face. Edmund only glared at him, refusing to cower, and promised payback with his eyes. Whatever the monster did to him now hardly compared to what he just put Susan through. Their sweet, gentle Susan. Who never did anything to deserve this. '_I will not cry now,' _he reprimanded himself.

"Prepared to die today?" Rabadash sneered more than asked.

If Edmund could, he would punch the living daylights out of him.

He then noticed one of the guards press his finger against his lips in a shushing manner, and Edmund praised Aslan for somehow he just knew that this man was an ally and that they were about to be rescued.

The guard stepped back a little behind the other guard and pulled out his own dagger. Edmund narrowed his eyes dangerously at Rabadash, promising payback for what he did to Susan.

"Are you?"

It was then that the guard made his move, and sticked the other guard in the neck so fast that he didn't see it coming, before stabbing Rabadash in the side. The gaurd covered the Prince's mouth with his hand so that he couldn't scream and alert the other guards in the castle.

"I'll leave him for you if you wish Sire?" the guard probed, holding back the struggling Prince, who was slowly going limp in his arms.

Edmund nodded.

The guard nodded with understanding back, before throwing the Prince down on the floor, and retrieved the key to unlock their chains. The Prince was too weak to fight back in order to get it back.

After the guard unlocked the chains around his wrists, and feet, Edmund picked up his dagger, and then hovered it over the poor excuse of a Prince chest. Rabadash wasn't worthy of that title. He raised the dagger with every intension of killing him, but hesitated momentarily, for it was not in his nature to kill a defenseless man.

"Can't even kill an enemy without having second thoughts. You Narnians are weak. Pathetic."

Flashbacks of what he did to Susan crossed his vision. Blinded by pure fury, he howled as he slit the mans throat with his own dagger in one swift motion. He stood up, and glared hatefully down at the man who had hurt his sister so badly. He felt no guilt whatsoever about killing him, but he was sure it would come later when they were far away from here, and safe.

The guard unlocked Susan's chains, and moved to lift her in his arms to carry her, but she screamed, and fought back.

"Your, Highness! I will not hurt you," the guard tried to reassure her that he meant them no harm, trying to calm her down, but she continued to struggle with him.

With a heavy heart, Edmund pushed the guard lightly aside, and hunched down before Susan. He gripped her shoulders gently, trying to get her to stop struggling.

"Susan, it's okay. He's helping us get out here."

She stopped fighting then, but still had fear in her eyes. He kissed the top of her head, brushing the sweaty hair out of her face. He did the best he could to help her put her dress back on, before lifting her in his arms, knowing she was too weak to run on her own if they had to.

"King Peter is waiting for us at the gate. We must hurry Sire," the guard insisted urgently, motioning for them to follow him.

"May I ask the name of our rescuer sir?" Edmund probed, carefully adjusting Susan, who clung to him tightly in his arms, before following after the unknown, and still masked guard.

"Just call me an angel of mercy. I have a sister too. No one should have to go through what your sister went through. I had thought Rabadash to be a man of honor and am now ashamed to have called him my Lord." .

Edmund could only nod in agreement, unsure of what else to say other than.

"Thank you!"

**TBC**

**A/N:**PLEASE REVIEW! _They really are appreciated!_


	3. I'll watch over you

**Chapter wordcount**:2,091

**Chapter Three:**I'll watch over you

Thank Aslan that no one had tried to stop them from getting away from the castle, and Archenland, but Edmund knew that was mostly the easy part. Now comes the hard part in helping Susan to recover, and Edmund was determined to be the one to so. After all, it was all his fault. If it weren't for him insisting on an alliance in the first place, then none of this would've happened. That's why he couldn't stand the thought of Susan blaming herself for wanting to meet the Prince. He had been the one who wanted to go. And look what's happened because of it. He shook his head to get rid of the terrible images that made made him want to vomit, and punch something, before they could even start.

He was making his way to the the healers ward to be with Susan again in a half daze. He would have still been with her now, if it weren't for Peter and Lucy insisting that he get something to eat, when there was a heart wrenching scream that came from the particular direction. His heart pounded fearfully in his chest, and he quickened his pace, rushing into the ward to see Peter trying to comfort Susan, trying to convince her that it was okay, and that she was home now. But she continued to fight him as if he was the enemy. Her eyes were pressed tightly shut from the nightmare that must've consumed her, and he was at her bedside in a flash. He pushed Peter aside, reaching for her hands, holding them tightly, and protectively inbetween his own.

"It's going to be okay, Sue. I'm here now. And I'm never going to let anyone hurt you ever again. And you don't have to worry about that rotten Prince Rabadash anymore. I took care of him good. No one hurts my family and gets away with it," he said, trying to reassure her. He let go of one of her hands, and lifted his up to smooth her loose strands of hair out of her beautiful face.

Her eyes snapped open, and she looked tearfully back into his. She calmed down a little though when she must've realized it was just him, and fell into his arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, and kissed the top of her head. He perched himself onto the bed next to her, and looked up at Peter. He could see a little hurt in his brother's eyes, for under normal circomstances, it was Peter being the only one able to comfort, Susan. But these weren't normal circomstances. Peter wasn't forced to witness what Edmund had. He felt tears stinging his eyes just thinking about it and clutched Susan tighter against his chest, never wanting to let her go again.

"Edmund. What happened over there? The nurses won't tell me anything." Peter sounded frustrated, and irritated as hell. He couldn't blame him for that though. He would no doubt feel the same if their situation was reversed, and he had to be the one left wondering, which was often the case. But it was up to Susan if she wanted him to know or not.

"Don't tell. Can't...don't want anyone one to know." He managed to make out with her sobbing into his shoulder. He smoothed her hair, which got her to calm down a little.

"What?" Peter looked confused.

Edmund sighed.

"She doesn't want anyone to know. And I don't blame her one bit," Edmund snapped, not at Peter, but at at the bad memories. He wished with all that he was, had never happened. Peter nodded, looking concerned, and risked placing a comforting hand on her back by Edmund's. She flinched and he pulled his hand back as if he'd been burned.

"She's scared of me!" Peter stood up, looking hurt again and started pacing. Edmund knew his brother's patience was wearing thin. But all that concerned him right now was Susan. And she obviously didn't want Peter here to see her so vulnerable. "She's never been afraid of me before. Something more than the slapping..." Peter paused, pointing at Susan, and continued,"happened over there. You know something. And you're going to very well tell me."

"It's not my place to tell. She'll tell you what happened when she's ready," he argued, just wanting to end the argument before it got out of hand. That's the last thing Susan needed to deal with right now.

"I'm the bloody HIGH KING damn it! I have a right to know what happens to our sisters if it involves their health," Peter roared, throwing his hands up with frustration in the air, his blue eyes blazing mad.

Edmund didn't like his brothers' almighty attitude as if he's the only who worries about their sisters, and glowered up at him a little. But before he could respond with a nasty retort, Susan spun around in his arms, but made no attempt to remove herself from them. Instead, she glared dangerously up at Peter as well.

"STOP IT PETER! Leave Edmund alone. If you need someone to yell at. Yell at me. I'm the one who doesn't want anyone to know," she yelled back, though her voice was low and hoarse from crying so much.

"I'm sorry, Susan. I didn't mean to yell and frighten you. I just...want to help you," Peter pleaded, kneeling down before them, and covered his hands over Susan's, softly and tenderly stroking the tops of them with his thumbs. Edmund resisted the urge to bat those damn hands away, and blinked, surprised at himself. It was almost as if he was...possessive of Susan. Peter was always the one that got to take care of her after she's been hurt or sick. But now it was bloody well his turn. And he wasn't going to let Peter take this time with Susan away from him. He shook his head and tried not to dwell too much on those ridiculas thoughts.

Susan's eyes soften a little.

"I know Peter." She removed her hands from Peter's, continuing, "But you weren't there. And you can't help me this time. Only Edmund can."

Peter looked at him then and sighed with disappointment. He got up to leave.

"I'll have Lucy bring you something to eat then. She'll be so glad to see you're awake. She's been worried sick," Peter said, making his leave. Susan hid her face in Edmund's chest, clinging to him for dear life again. He wrapped his own arms around her, and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"You should just tell him, Susan. He does only want to help. And you know he's not going to let this go," he said, tying to encourage her, and smoothed her hair, kissing her temple. He found this action strangely calming, which was something he could not easily find these days.

She sniffed.

"I know, but I don't want his help. He didn't go through what we went through. He can't possibly know how to help me. And I just want to forget it ever happened!"

He sighed, knowing in his heart that it wasn't wise, nor healthy for her to try and forget something like this. He didn't want to seem pushy about it though, so he let it go for now. He kissed her forehead this time, cradling her head in the crook of his neck.

"But Sue, you know I've never been really comfortable with you girls crying all over me," hecouldn't help but tease, trying lighten the mood.

"You're doing fine so far," she complimented, pulling back just enough to be able to gazr up at him, and looked at him as if she was seeing him for the first time. She looked proud of him, but disappointed all at once. "When did you get to be so grown up, Edmund? I miss my annoying-pest of a little brother already."

He managed a little chuckle.

"Hey, I can still be an, 'annoying-pest' where Peter's concerned anyway. This much I can promise you will never change," he promised, earning a small giggle from her, and a swift kiss on the cheek.

It was that precose moment that Lucy decided to grace them with her presence.

She looked between the two of them with a big releaved smile, and set the tray of food aside, and enveloped Susan in her arms, who did her best to hug back without letting go of Edmund.

Edmund fondly, yet sadly watch his sisters reunite, and silently vowed never to let either one of them out of his sight ever again. Especially not, Susan. He knew it was going to drive them crazy having him around all the time. But he couldn't bear it if something happened to one of them again.

"Oh, Susan, I was so worried." She gasped in shock when she pulled back, and obviously saw the bruises on Susan's cheeks. She reached for the cordual around her neck to heal them with, but Susan stopped her.

"No, Lucy."

"But, Sue. You're hurt. Let me help you."

"No Lucy, I'm sure they'll heal by themselves in no time."

Lucy didn't look convinced of that, nor happy about not being able to help her, but she nodded, putting away the cordial away.

"What did that awful Prince Rabadash do to you? I know he tried to torture, Edmund. But no one will tell me what he tried to do to you."

"Lucy," Edmund warned when Susan looked at him pleadingly for help. "Susan needs to eat and then rest. I'll come get you when she feels like she's up for some more company."

"But you get to stay with her? She's my sister too," Lucy pouted, and Edmund felt Susan's hand tighten against his robe.

"Lucy, I promise you can see her later. Now's just not the best time okay," he said, trying not let his once famous temper get the better of him.

"But..."

"OUT," he finally snapped, pointing in the direction of the exit behind her. She blinked in stunned silence, and frowned a little at him, and he could see that she was fighting back tears. He didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but Susan needed him more right now, and he promised himself to make it up to his little sister later somehow. "Now Lucy."

She wiped away a tear, and huffed.

"Some things never change. I'M NOT A LITTLE GIRL ANYMORE. SO DON'T TREAT ME LIKE ONE!" she hollered, storming out, and Edmund felt Susan give his hand a comforting squeeze.

"She'll be fine. Don't worry."

"I can't help it. You girls just mean so much to me. I can't stand the thought of som..." he paused, not wanting to upset her with the those awful memories again. And he was never really comfortable with expressing his feelings anyway. Not like her, Peter and Lucy do. He tried to think of a distraction and then remembered the food Lucy had brought for her and got up for a second to retrieve the tray. He sat back down next to Susan again and held it out for her to take herself. Her nose scrunched up and she looked away.

"I don't think I can."

He set the tray on his lap, and clutched the sides of it with his hands so tightly that his knuckles were starting to turn a tad shade of white. He blinked back tears, trying to be strong her, but was apparently failing miserably.

Again.

"Hey," she said, wiping away a tear from his cheek with her thumb that he hadn't realized had fallen and tried not to feel weak because of it. "I'm going to be fine too. You'll see." She took the tray from him then, and tried to eat what little she could.

He folded his arms against his chest, and watched her with a small hopeful smile, praying to Aslan that she would eventually be herself again.

**TBC**

Feedback is lovely!


	4. Rivalry

**Chapter wordcount:**1,107

**Chapter Four**:Rivalry

After making sure that Susan was going to be okay on her own for awhile, Edmund leaned down, and pressed a soft kiss on her forehead, telling her to get some rest. Even if it was just laying awake in bed for awhile thinking, or reading something. She was too tired to protest, and simply nodded her agreement. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, before making his leave.

"_Or better yet, I'll have my way with her first, and make you watch, before I torture you , then kill you."_

"**EDMUND!" **

Edmund pressed his hand up on the wall as he exited the ward, bracing himself against the onslaught of horrible images that will just not leave him alone, and shook his head, desperately trying to stop them from coming any furthar.

_'Damn you!' H_e cursed himself for being the 'weak' king, and kicked the wall with frustration.

He wondered if they will ever get over this as he made his way back to his chambers.

Once inside his chambers, he slumped down against the doors, pulled his knees up against his chest, and sobbed like a baby for the first time since he was rescued from the White Witch all those years ago.

He didn't know what in Aslan's name he was doing. How was supposed to help Susan, if he couldn't even help himself? And he wasn't even the one who was raped. "Damn you!" he cursed himself aloud this time, as he managed to push himself back up from the floor, and went to the first breakable thing he could get his hands on. He threw it angrily against the wall, watching it shatter, and fall to the floor in pieces.

He wiped away the tears from his eyes, trying to control his bloody temper, before sitting heavily on his bed, and covered his face with his hands. He took deep breaths, telling himself that everything will be okay. And not to worry. But a part of him knew that was far from the truth.

Later in the afternoon, Edmund found himself outside in the court yard surprised, and slightly upset to also find Susan up and about, playing tag with Lucy when she was supposed to be resting. They didn't see him yet. THis sisters were too busy laughing, and having fun. He folded his arms against his chest content with watching his sisters play for a few moments, despite being upset with Susan for not following the healers advice and rest.

"Edmund?" Lucy spotted him, waving him over. He lowered his arms, and made his way to Susan, who swirled around to face him, and her eyes went big when she saw him, looking as if she'd been caught doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing, which in a way was the truth. He shook his head with dissapointment at her.

"What do you think you're doing out here, Susan?" He didn't mean to sound so harsh, but he sometimes couldn't help it when he was worried. Her eyes widened a little more for a second, but then narrowed dangerously at him

"Playing with, Lucy. What's it look like?" she retorted, defending herself.

"You're supposed to be resting," he argued back, not wanting to fight with Susan. But bloody hell she was being too stubborn! Annoying the hell out of him.

"I'm tired of resting. I'm fine."

_'Liar' _

"We both know you're not fine, Sue. So stop pretending like you are, and get back to the Healers Ward, or your chambers, I really don't care where you go as long as you get some bloody rest! NOW!" he shouted, and almost apologized when she flinched, but he stood his ground.

Her eyes darkened and he felt himself cower a little.

"You can't tell me what to do, Edmund Pevensie! In case you've forgotten? I'm older than you."

Edmund glowered, his temper finally getting the better of him. All he was trying to do was help her because he cared about her, and didn't want her to over exert herself before she was fully healed. "Go. Get. Some. Rest, or I'll..." he paused, knowing that he'd better not go there if he wanted to keep his head. But his patience was wearing thin with her.

She advanced on him, staring him down. He just stared defiantly right back.

"Or you'll what, Edmund?"

_'I'm only doing this because I care about you too much to see you not taking care of yourself._'

"Or I'll tell Peter the truth about what happened to you in Archenland," he threatened, but wanted to take it back when he saw the look of betrayal that filled Susan's eyes as she continued to stare him down.

"Tell Peter what truth?" Lucy suddenly probed.

He almost forgot about her during the argument, and looked at her for a moment, just long enough for Susan to take advantage of the distraction and run away from them.

"Not now, Lucy," he said loudly, running after Susan.

"YOU NEVER HAVE TIME FOR ME ANYMORE!" He heard Lucy shout after him. But he had to find Susan and get her back to the castle. That was all that concerned him at the moment.

He found her in the stables on the ground, curled up into a tiny little ball, praying for Aslan to give her strength to carry on, and was repeating over and over again how deeply sorry she was for fighting with, Edmund. She didn't mean any of what she had said, and pleaded for Aslan's forgiveness for being weak. He sighed, perching himself down next to her on the ground. He gave her shoulder a tender squeeze. She flinched, but reached up, and clutched at his hand, holding it tightly in hers.

"I'm so sorry, Edmund! I don't know what's wrong with me."

He sighed, lifting her up into a sitting posistion, and held her in his arms, wishing he could heal her pain.

"It's fine, Sue. I was never really mad at you. Just worried. Please don't cry. I can't stand it."

"I'm scared, Edmund. So scared."

"There's nothing to be scared of now," he insisted, trying to reassure her, running his fingers through her hair, and wished that he was better at this sort of thing.

He envied Peter's ability to be able to consol their sisters so easily.

"Let's just get you back to the castle now."

**TBC**

Feedback is lovely!


	5. Courage

_**Chapter wordcount:**1,039_

_**Chapter Five**:Courage_

_The Prince was on top of her again, hands roaming, hurting, over and over, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. _

_**EDMUND! **_

_Loud thunder rattled the castle_

Edmund jerked awake with a start, and bolted up in bed, breathing heavily, panting. He pressed his hand against his aching chest, blinking back tears. He laid back down, and tried to get back to sleep, but just couldn't.

Sighing, he pushed himself out of bed.

Securing the night robe around his waist, he made his way to the balcony window and stared out into the mid-morning rain. It was coming down hard out there now, but he didn't really care.

About a week had passed since Susan...since they were rescued from Rabadash. And Peter had gone to Archenland to try and mend relations last night. Leaving him in charge until he got back.

"YOUR MAJESTY!" Orius yelled, pounding on the doors. He went to open them, and stared questioningly at his friend, who looked stricken, and worried. He did not like that look and feared the worst.

"What's happened?"

"There been an accident."

"I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" Edmund roared at Lucy, clenching his fist angrily at his sides.

"It was an accident! Besides, she's the one who let me use her bow," Lucy defended herself, as they argued outside in the hall of Susan's chambers, who was thankfully asleep at the moment, and being tended to by a healer.

"And you just happen to accidentally shoot her with it?"

"She got in the way."

Edmund raised his hand, silencing her.

"That still doesn't excuse..."

"Edmund, she's going to be fine. Physically. The wounds already healed."

Edmund couldn't believe how lightly Lucy was taking the situation, and glowered murderously at her. "That still doesn't excuse stupidity. How much common sense does it take to look before you shoot?" he seethed, eyes blazing.

"Are you calling me stupid? If anyone is stupid here, it's her! She's the one who threw herself in front of me as if she wanted to get shot. Why would she do that?" Lucy retorted, truly sounding concerned now.

Edmund froze, praying to Aslan that he had heard her wrong.

"She what?"

"She threw herself in front of me like she had a death wish. Edmund, what happened to her in Archenland that would make her want to do such a horrible thing?"

Edmund backed up and slid down against the wall on the floor, burying his head in hands. "I can't tell you, Lucy. I promised."

Lucy hunched down in front of him, and gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze. "Is a secret really worth her life? What if she tries something like this again? She needs to talk to someone."

He lifted his head and met her eyes pleading with his.

"She talks to me."

"Yeah, but it's not helping her any is it? All it's doing is giving her an excuse to hide."

Edmund sighed, hating to admit that she was right. But he wanted to be the one to help Susan.

Not some stranger.

"I can do this, Lucy." he insisted, trying to reassuring himself more than his younger sister.

"Can you?"

Lucy looked symathetic, but not at all convinced, as she walked away from him, and down the hall.

He watched her go, his heart pounding in his chest.

_'I can help her and I will. You'll see. You and Peter. She'll be alright. Oh god Aslan, please let her be alright!' _

**'Courage my son. Courage." **

Edmund managed a ghost of a smile.

Sometime later, Edmund sat at the edge of Susan's bedside, waiting for her to wake up, yet dreading it at the same time. He did not want to have to ask her why she had tried to kill herself, but maybe he didn't have to. He already knew why. He just didn't want the subject to come up at all, but knew that it had to, for Susan's sake. He wanted her to promise him that she'll never do something so stupid like that ever again.

She stirred and her eyes blinked open, slowly focusing on him. "Edmund?"

He narrowed his eyes, hoping she understood that he was only angry because he had been afraid for her.

"Susan."

She avoided eye contact.

"I'm so..."

"Don't!" He pushed himself hastily off the bed, and waved his finger disappointedly down at her. "Don't you dare say you're sorry."

"But I..."

Edmund couldn't bear to hear the helplessness in her voice.

"No. I want to help you, Susan. But how can I if you're dead? I want you to promise me that you won't do something so stupid like that ever again."

He tried to calm down, but the thought of Susan actually trying to commit suicide again filled him with fear that made his temper flare to new heights at her.

"Edmund."

She still would not meet his eyes and it hurt.

"Promise me."

She slowly looked at him then, her eyes filled with tears, and he gently wiped them away with his thumb.

"I promise."

He searched her teary eyes for proof that she meant it, and when he found it, sighed with relief.

"I...I, just worry about you, Sue. I want you to start eating more too. You're looking thin enough as it is. Peter will kill me if you start wasting away on my watch."

That managed to get a brief smile out of her.

"I'll tell Peter its not your fault. I just can't seem to keep anything down anymore. It still hurts. It hurts so bad, Edmund. What he did to me. The nightmares seem so real. I can hardly sleep anymore either. Every time I close my eyes. He's there waiting for me."

This, he can understand, and he smoothed her long dark bangs out of her green eyes.

"I know."

"Do you think it will ever get any easier?"

Edmund gave her hand a gentle squeeze, and an encouraging smile.

"Courage my lady. Courage."

TBC

Feedback is lovely!


	6. Talking

**Chapter wordcount:**1,339

**Chapter Six:**Talking

_The Prince was on top of her again, hands roaming, hurting, claiming._

_No, no, no! Stop it you beast! I swear you're going to pay for that!_

_EDMUND!_

'EDMUND!" A hand was shaking his shoulder, and he jolted awake with a start. He cursed as the back of his head hit against the trunk of the tree he had fallen asleep under, and he rubbed the sore spot in annoyance.

"I'm sorry, Edmund," Susan apologized, but Edmund could tell that older sister was trying to suppress a giggle. "I didn't mean to startle you."

He waved off her apology, and she helped him to his feet.

"It's okay. How long was I out?" he asked, noticing the picknic blanket, and the left over food had been cleaned up, and Lucy was gone.

"Not long, but I thought you could use the rest," Susan replied, as they started to head back to the castle.

"How are you doing?" he probed.

She sighed, "I'm fine."

_'I know your not. Why won't you tell me the truth?' _He groaned with frustration, and and reached out, grasping her elbow, preventing her from going any further. At least for the moment. They needed to talk.

"Why won't you tell me the truth? Don't you trust me?"

She looked taken aback by his question, and looked him straight in the eye. "If I didn't, I wouldn't be letting you in at all." She suddenly threw herself at him, hugging him like her life depended on it. He hugged just as tightly back, never wanting anything to happen to her again. She pulled away, but still held him at arms length. "I think we're forgetting someone here though. I mean, you were forced to...watch."

He held her hand tightly in his his. "It was nothing compared to what you had to go through," he tried to reassure her, pulling his hand back.

Back at the castle, Edmund took care of his duties as king for the day, and found out that Peter was successful in mending relations with Archenland, and that he was on his way back. With nothing else to really do for once, he decided to go and look for Susan. Not surprisingly, he found her in the library with her nose buried in a book. He grinned, suddenly feeling michevious for some reason, and made his way over to her.

"Sue?" He placed a hand on her shoulder. She gasped as she jumped up and spun around, punching him in the face.

"OW! What the bloody hell, Sue! That really hurt," he cried, making sure that she hadn't broken his nose.

"Edmund? Oh god, I'm so sorry! But you really shouldn't sneak up on someone like that," Susan quickly apologized, and started making a fuss about his nose, checking to see if his nose was broken, which it thankfully wasn't. He was highly relieved, and could see that she was also.

"It's okay. You're right. I should have announced myself first. I'll know better next time. Ow, that really hurt Sue."_'Gosh, she can throw one hell of a punch.' _

"Want me to kiss it better?"

_'Hell no!' _He shook his head vigorously, "Haven't I been humiliated enough?"

She playfully kissed the tip of his nose anyway, and hugged him.

"I really am sorry, Edmund."

He sighed, patting her on the shoulder a few times to let her know he forgave her. "I know. Do you want to talk about it?" She shook her head, pulling back, and sat back down heavilly in the chair.

"Not really, no, " she answered, going back to the book she had previously been reading.

Getting majorly frustrated, and tired of her trying to shut herself out from the world, and pretending that nothing happened, he finally snapped, slamming the book shut, startling her. "Sorry," he apologized, sitting down in the chair next to hers, and continued, "But I think it's time we really talked about what happened." She avoided eye contact with him, and shook her head . He tried not to let it bother him, and give her the time she needed to come around on her own.

"I don't really know where to start?" she finally started to talk, meeting his eyes. He sighed, but understood this wasn't an easy thing for her. Hell, it wasn't exactly easy for him either, but he was willing to listen. He just wanted his sister to start feeling better. knowing she wasn't happy at all made his heart ache something terrible.

"How about you start by telling me how you feel, hmm?" he suggested, not really knowing where to start either. He was no psychiatrist, but he had read up on it, and knew that getting her to admit it happened, and how she felt about it, was the first steps on the road to recovery.

"I was raped. How the bloody hell do you think I feel?" she snapped nastily.

He blinked, not expecting the outburst that was so not like Susan. But he understood. God, how he understood. _'Well, at least she admitted it happened anyway.' _

"Susan," he urged, giving her a pressing stare.

Her eyes fell, and she folded her hands on her lap.

"Do you really want to know how I feel?" At his nod she continued, "Humiliated, used, weak, pathetic, ashamed, guilty, traumatized. Sorry that you had to be in there with me to witness it, and possibly are traumatized for life now too. I'm not worthy of being, Queen! It was all my fault! Need I go on?" She looked away with tears threatening to fall, and bit her bottom lip. He ached for her even more than he already had, and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. He gave it a tender squeeze, while using his other hand to cup her cheek, and turned her to face him. Her lips were trembling, and he stopped them with the tip of his finger, and thought she might feel better knowing how he felt.

"Do you want to know how I feel, Sue?" At her nod he continued, pulling his finger back, "You're right, I'm traumatized, but helping you makes me feel better."

She snorted, "So you wanting to help me is just to make yourself feel better? How reassuring and so like you. ALL YOU EVER CARE ABOUT IS YOURSELF!" Her eyes had darkened to an almost hate for him and it stung.

"HEY! You know I'm not like that anymore." He sighed, trying not to take offense at the insult, He told himself that she was just hurting, and that she didn't mean it. "My point is, Sue. Talking about it helps."

"For you," she retorted, standing up, prepared to leave. "I feel like I'm suffocating just thinking about it. You weren't the one he pinned down and..."

"I felt like dying the whole time," he interrupted, trying to get her to calm down.

"I wish I was dead."

He held his breath, and helplessly watched her run out of the library. Her book fell from her lap in her hastness, and landed facedown on the flloor with a light thud, but he didn't feel like bending to pick it up.

She was almost out the entranceway when he called, "Where are you going?" He pushed himself up from his chair also.

She spun back around, her face hardening.

He gulped.

"Away from you," she snapped, spinning back around. And he didn't try to stop her from leaving this time. He kicked the chair he had been sitting in hard, knocking it some feet away, and buried his face in his hands, telling himself not to cry, that she didn't mean any of what she had said, and that she was just upset like he was.

_'I wish I was dead.' _

His head snapped back up, and he hurriedly went to assign a few guards to keep an eye on her at all times. She had already tried to commit suicide once. He wasn't willing to risk it happening again. He knew she'd hate him for it, but it was for her own good.

**TBC**

Feedback is lovely!


	7. Consequences

_**Chapter wordcount**:1,207_

_**Chapter Seven:**Consequences_

_He was walking through the halls. It was dark, and there was an eerie flash of blue that surrounded him every few second. He tried to get his eyes to adjust to the darkness, and wondered what the hell was going on._

"_EDMUND!" Lucy was suddenly in front of him, grabbing his hand. "Come quick! Somethings wrong with Susan," she cried fearfully, pulling him along through the halls to Susan's chambers. _

_Once inside Susan's room, she pulled him over to the bed where Susan laid. There was no rapid eye movement, and she looked very pale. Letting go of Lucy's hand, he hunched down to be eye level with his older sister, and gasped when her eyes suddenly opened, but they were empty. No life in them at all. "Susan?" He shook her shoulder to try and get a reaction out of her, any reaction, but she remained as still as a statue. _

_"SUSAN" he shouted, shaking her harder this time with the same result. _

_No! She can't be dead. She just can't be. _

_Please, no!_

_There was an evil laugh in the background. It chilled him to the bone. _

_He knew that laugh all too well. _

His eyes flew open, and he groaned miserably, covering his face with his hands. His nightmares just keep getting worse,and worse. And of course Jadis just to mess with him again, even though she's dead. He wondered if he was ever going to get any sleep again, and he pushed himself out of bed, deciding to just get the day started early. There was no way he would be able to get back to sleep anyway, knowing '_she'_ was beginning to include herself in them now .

After getting dressed, he went to the thrown room for awhile to try and calm his racing mind down till morning, and then went to meet his sisters' in the great hall for breakfast. He was pleased to see Susan sitting across from Lucy, and she seemed to be well for the most part. He made himself comfortable next to her, and tried not to frown when she refused to meet his eyes. He knew she was still angry about the guards, so he tried not to take it personally.

"Good morning Edmund," Lucy greeted with a bright smile.

He smiled politely back.

"Morning Lu, Sue." He tried to get Susan's attention, but she just scooted further away from him. Sighed he shared a concerned look with Lucy, before risking giving Susan shoulder a hopeful squeeze.

"You know, Sue. The silent treatment really doesn't become you."

She threw him a nasty glare then. "I wasn't giving you the silent treatment. I just have nothing to say to you right now that's all," she tried to reassure, shrugging off his hand. He didn't believe her at all though.

"The guards are for your own good, Susan. When I know for sure that you won't try and hurt yourself again, I'll order them to back off." He didn't like her attitude at the moment, and couldn't help but noticed she barely touched her plate, but he understood, and was trying to keep his cool about it for the time being.

"You can't protect me all the time, Edmund," she said so softly that Edmund almost didn't hear her.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he hissed, narrowing his eyes at her, suddenly getting an overwhelming urge to have her confined to her chambers till she was herself again. She said nothing. Just got up and left. Once she was gone, he growled, clenching his fists, and hit the table in frustration. "Why is she being so bloody stubborn? I'm just trying to help her."

"Maybe you should think about having her talk to a mind healer or something now, Edmund?" Lucy suggested, but Edmund shook his head.

"No. Not yet."

"You still think you can help her?"

Edmund glared at her.

"I told you I can. And I will," he said determindly. Lucy just shook her head at him, and continued eating. Edmund forced what he could of his food down, before pushing himself away from the table, and side by side with Lucy, they went to welcome the High King home, who was due to arrive any minute now.

Later that day in the conference hall,

"How is she?" Peter probed, leaning against the table, looking down at Edmund, who was seated in the chair. He looked up at his older brother, trying to keep the feeling of failure out of his eyes, and hated telling him the truth, and wished that he could feel as comfortable with lying as he did when he was younger.

"Not good, I'm afraid. She won't talk to me anymore, and she tried to kill herself while you were gone."

Peter's eyes shot wide open in utter disbelief.

"She did what?" The High King growled, clenching his fist angrilly at his sides.

"Please, Peter! Don't make me repeat it." He hated having to say it the first time.

"Damn it, Edmund! I think it's time you told me what the hell is going on right now," Peter shouted, pulling him up from the chair by the caller of his shirt till their noses were almost touching.

"I can't," he pleaded, trying to shake himself free from his furious brothers grasp. Peter's eyes narrowed dangerously, before shoving him back into the chair in frustration. He watched Peter close his eyes to try and get his temper under control.

"Please, Ed! Don't make me have to order you to tell me," Peter pleaded, opening his eyes.

Edmund glared at him.

"And if I don't?" he challenged, clenching his fists. He would be damned before he broke his promise to Susan.

Threatening to do it was one thing, but actually doing it was another entirely. Peter sighed.

"Then there will be consequences," Peter said as if he despised having to say it.

"Like what?" He knew how far Peter was willing to go to protect their sisters, and he was just as willing. But still, he never thought that he'd find himself in this position with the High King.

Peter eyes begged forgiveness as he went to the doors, and called for the guards. He turned back to him as they entered, "King Edmund is confined to his chambers until further notice, or until he wishes to speak to me. He is to have contact with no one except myself, or Queen Lucy. Understood?"

"Yes sire." The guards bowed, then went over to Edmund, pulling him from the conference room, into the hall, and to his chambers, where they guarded outside the doors. Edmund balled his fists tightly, and banged them on the doors. This wasn't fair! How was he supposed to help Susan while being stuck in here?

Now he really did wonder how far Peter was actually willing to go to get the truth out of him to protect, Susan. But he knew that Peter would never actually hurt him. He just hoped Susan won't blame herself for this.

**TBC**

Feedback is lovely!


	8. Let me be your shield

**Chapter wordcount:**1,747

**Chapter Eight**:Let me be your shield

_He felt as if he was walking on air as he strolled through the darkened halls of, Care Paravel, when suddenly, there was a terrifying scream in the distance. He was starting to know that scream by heart, and he started to run towards it. He turned a corner, and stopped dead in his tracks. There was Susan being lifted a foot off the ground by a hand that was squeezing her throat. He recognized that hand, and shivered with fear as the face of the White Witch turned towards him with a taunting glare in her eyes. He couldn't believe it. She was dead. Aslan had killed her years ago. This couldn't be real. _

"_Let her go," he managed to snap bravely, glaring murderously at her. _

"_Now my dear, Edmund. Why would I want to do that? With one of you gone, the prophecy will be broken, and everything will go back to the way it was before when I was in rule of Narnia." _

_Susan was grasping at the hand squeezing her throat, trying to pry it off, but Jadis was stronger, and Edmund made a lunged towards the witch. The witch quickly pulled out a mean looking dagger, and pressed it against Susan's throat warningly. His blood boiled with rage, but he stopped, but continued to glare at her. _

"If you c_ome any closer son of, Adam. I'll slit her throat." _

_Edmund looked helplessly at Susan, and he was finding it difficult to breathe. He couldn't let this happen. It would kill him. "Take me. Let her go and take me. Please! It's me you want anyway isn't it? I'm the one that got away," he pleaded. The Witch actually looked to be considering it, but in the end she just gave him an evil smile, shaking her head. _

"_No. I'd think it would be better to make you suffer, like this." She then slit Susan's throat, and let her drop to the floor in a heap. Edmund couldn't move as he watched Susan whither in pain, and couph up blood. She managed to reach for him though, and her eyes became empty and lifeless. _

_He felt his heart break. _

"_SUSAN, NOOOO!" he cried, rushing towards her limp form on the floor, and lifted her head up, placing carefully on his lap. He cradled her in his arms, sobbing in her hair. She wasn't dead. This was just another one of those awful nightmares that he's been having. There was evil laughter in the background again, and he looked up to find Jadis gone. He looked back down at Susan, and brushed his cheek against her hair, not believing that she was dead. "Susan, please don't be dead. You can't be dead. This isn't real. It can't be. Please Sue!" He shook her by the shoulders and pressed his forehead against hers feeling hopelessly lost. _

"Edmund! Edmund wake up! You're having a nightmare. Oh, pease wake up!"

Someone was shaking his shoulder, and he blinked his eyes open, feeling hot, and stinging tears in them. He managed to make out the blurry image of Susan hovering over him. Her eyes were filled with concern for him. Relief flooded his veins, and he reached up for her, pulling her down in his arms, and started sobbing into her shoulder. He felt her stiffen, but held him back nevertheless, and it meant so much to him.

"Don't leave me, Sue. Please don't leave me! I couldn't bear it," he choked out with a sob, clutching at her for dear life.

"Oh, Ed! You haven't been sleeping well at all have you? What's happening to you?" He pushed her back a bit and tried to think hard for an answer for her, but the best one he could come up with was.

"I'm afraid I'm losing you."

Her eyes softened to an almost twinkle, and he could imagine that nothing bad had ever happened to her. She gave him a tiny smile, and ran her fingers through his no doubt messy as can be dark hair.

"You won't. I promise. I love you so much, Edmund." She kissed his cheek, wiping away his tears with her thumbs, and moved his head to lay on her lap, continuing to run her fingers through his hair. He found it deeply soothing, and he reached for her hand, lacing their fingers together. He couldn't imagine life without this, without her, and sighed with a feeling of contentment.

"I love you too. That's why I want you to be taking better care of yourself," he said tiredly, but he was too afraid to fall asleep, afraid that the nightmares would return.

"What was your nightmare about?" she probed.

He sighed wanting to just forget about it. It wasn't real anyway. This was. And Susan was still alive and with him. That was all that mattered.

"Nothing. It doesn't matter now," he said, trying to put her troubling mind at ease. She gave him a look which made him resort to changing the subject, "What are you doing here anyway? Peter said only himself and Lucy were allowed to see me till I told him the truth." She smiled weakly and avoided eye contact.

"I...I told him what happened. I couldn't stand the thought of you being trapped in here like some kind of prisoner. I still can't believe he would do that to you. And I gave him a good lecture for it too. It's the most stupidest and lowest thing he's ever done!"

Edmund couldn't help but grin with the image of Susan telling off Peter for confining him to his chambers, and wished he could've been there to see it. Sometimes he wondered who was really the one in charge here. He'd place his bets on Susan any day. Peter may be the High King of Narnia, but Sue out rules him in family matters.

"You told him? You told him for me?" He could bearly contain how touched he felt that she would face her fears for him. He sat up slowly, and pulled her hand close to his chest, rubbing the back of it with his other. He knew how hard it would've been for her, and he wanted her to know how much it meant to him.

"Of course I did. You didn't deserve this. You didn't think I'd leave you in here to rot did you?" She looked almost hurt at the thought that he would think that, and he cupped the back of her neck, pressing their foreheads together again.

"My brave and gentle, Sue. You're amazing you know that?"

She blushed crimson, and he was pleased that he was the cause of it. He was so happy that she was talking to him again. Really talking to him.

"Not as amazing as you. I've been anything but gentle to you, but you never gave up on me. Not once. I don't deserve your forgiveness so easily."

He lifted his hand, cupping her cheek. He pushed her head back a little, so he can look in her eyes, and then ran the back of his fingers down her flush, and delicate skin.

"You never needed to ask for it, Sue."

Tears started to prickle at her eyes, and he lifted her chin up with his index and middle finger.

"You keep ending up in my arms like this," he mentioned, delicately rubbing his thumb back and fourth across her cheeckbone. Her eyes fluttered shut, as the tears now spilled from her eyelids, and down her cheeks, landing on his thumb, and he wiped them away.

"I've noticed. What do you think it means?" she probed, opening her eyes, and looked him up and down as if sizing him up, and eventually laid her head against his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist, holding onto him tight.

He had no idea what it meant, but it had to mean something.

"I hope it means that we're getting you better," he replied, rubbing his other hand up and down her back in a comforting motion ,and could feel her palm press against his chest so she could feel his heart beat.

"I do feel better when I'm in your arms. You make me feel safe and no one can hurt me."

He was glad he made her feel safe.

"Good," he said, laying them back down on his bed, and continued to smooth her hair fondly.

"Let me be your shield?" He had no idea why he asked that, but it just felt like the right thing to ask just then. Plus, he wanted to protect her...and Lucy too of course from the evils of the world. She inclined her head so that she could look up at him, and smiled, a real smile, her eyes now twinkling with playfulness.

His heart did a little flip flop.

"But you are my shield," she simply replied, and blushed again as if realizing what she had said. He grinned, not believing her.

"I thought Peter was your shield?" he teased, unconsciously trailing a finger down her arm and felt her shiver.

"He's more like my bow and Lucy's like my horn."

He couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing. It felt so good to laugh again.

"What?"

"I just got an image of you shooting Peter out of your bow like an arrow."

She rolled her eyes, and playfully smacked his shoulder, as she then pushed herself up and off the bed, looking down at him. "You haven't grown up at all have you? You're still the same old naughty boy I used to know when you want to be."

He pushed himself up on his elbows suddenly full of energy. "You know you love it and wouldn't want me any other way."

She rolled her eyes again, before spinning around, and started to leave him.

"I'll see you at breakfast," she called over her shoulder to him as she left the room.

Smiling like he hasn't smiled in ages, he jumped off the bed, and got ready.

He surprisiingly felt ready to face the day again.

**TBC**

Feedback is lovely!


	9. A Dream of a Dream

**A/N: **Okay, so this fic is AU from here. But hopefully the characters aren't that ooc. I hope you all still enjoy it anyway still**!**

**Chapter wordcount:**1,951

**Chapter Nine:**A dream of a dream

Later that day, Edmund told the guards that everything was okay now, and that they didn't have to watch Susan anymore. They bowed in understanding, and went about their buisness. "Everything alright Ed?" came Peter's voice from behind suddenly.

He sighed, turning around to face his older brother, and nodded.

"I hope so," he answered, before spinning back around, heading to the stables to spend some time with Phillip. He didn't mean to be rude, but he really didn't want to talk to Peter right now. He was still a little peeved at him for resorting to confining him to his chamers. He entered the stables, and surprisingly found Susan there as well. She was brushing her horses main, and was facing her, so didn't sense his presence just yet. He took this opportunity to observe her. How could he not? She was so calm, and so...gentle with her pet. He slowly crept up behind her to cover her eyes and surprise her, but then remembered the punch in the nose he received the last time he caught her off guard, and thought better of it this time.

"Hey, Sue," he announced himself.

She spun around, and gave him a sheepish smile when she saw that it was only him. Apparently, she was still a little on guard of herself. He wondered how long that would last. He despised seeing her so vulnerable. "Want to take Phillip and Angel out for a ride?"

"Why not," she agreed, mounting Angel, and held onto the reins, then looked down at him, waiting. He beamed up at her, before going to Phillip, and mounting him, and then rode him out of the stables next to Susan's beautiful white stallion.

"I'll race you to the woods," he challenged, petting Phillip.

Susan nodded.

"All right, On three," she accepted the challenge, and prepared them for the race.

"One, two, three," With that they both picked up speed, racing for the Western Woods.

He was winning too for awhile, but Susan managed to catch up with him, giving him a 'you're toast' gleam in her eyes, and then was suddenly the one winning. She was laughing mearily, and looked like she was having some real fun for a change. Her laughter was a refreshing sound.

He knew that this was a good idea.

"Come on Ed," Susan complained, parking Angel next to Phillip. He blinked, and shook his head at himself for not realizing that Phillip had stopped.

"Just catching my breath," he lamely tried to explain himself, and petted Phillip's main. "Are you alright there, Phillip?"

"I'm not as young as I once was," his pet answered tiredly, and he laughed a little along with Susan, but felt bad for having pushed Phillip so hard today. Deciding to give the horses some rest, he dismounted Phillip, and helped Susan off, Angel.

"Want to go for a walk in the woods my Lady?" he asked, offering her his arm to link her's through.

"I'd be happy to my Lord," she playfully accepted, hooking her right arm through his, and he started leading them away from the horses, knowing they'd stay put, and wait for them till they returned.

Little did Edmund know that would be the last time he'd see his beloved pet.

"I'm glad you're having some fun."

"Me too," she said, going quite and looked up as they entered a clearing . He wondered what caught her attention, and looked up to see for himself. There was a big pole with a sort of roundish thing on top. It looked familiar somehow, but he couldn't quite remember. It's was like something out of a dream.

"By Aslan, what a strange device," he said softly, suddenly on edge, and started leading Susan away from the awfully strange thing.

Susan paused, pulling away from him, and then spun around to face him with sudden excitement in her eyes. It was the kind of excitement she got when she figured something out.

"Oh, Edmund! I just remembered. That thing's the lamp post," she exclaimed, then headed off in one direction, running away from him.

"SUSAN, HOLD ON! WAIT FOR ME!" he called after her, running to catch up with her, and made his way through some small trees, pushing away the branches, "Susan, wait for me," he cried again.

"Come on," she said, briefly looking over her shoulder at him, when he felt himself brush against something soft and furry, and then looked around to see some strange sort of clothing hanging around them, surrounding them.

"These aren't branches," he observed, pushing them aside, as he followed Susan further into the unknown. He was starting to get a really bad feeling about this.

"They're coats," she replied, as if suddenly being able to recall what they were .

"I don't like this, Sue. Let's go back."

"Oh come on, Ed! Where has your sense of adventure gone? I think we're about to discover something important. It feels like something out of a dream," she voiced his previous thoughts, but he still wasn't sure about this, and wanted to go back to Peter and Lucy. But he couldn't just let Susan wonder off on her own. Anything could happen to her. And it would be his fault. Again. He couldn't go through this again.

"Or a dream of a dream. Yeah, I thought so too. I still don't like it," he grumbled, but how could he deny those eyes of hers anything.

"Don't worry. I'll hold your hand." She wrapped her fingers softly around his wrist, and led him the rest of the way through the furry coats. Eventually, they fell through something, which ended up with him landing on top of Susan's back.

"I'm sorry!" he apologized, hoping he hadn't hurt her . He rolled off her, then pushed himself up, and reached for her hand, helping her stand up as well. He felt her freeze when she looked down at him. She widened her eyes wide, looking as stunned and shocked as he felt. She appeared like her kidself again, and was wearing her old English cloths. He had no doubt that he looked like his old kidself in her eyes too.

"Peter and Lucy?" he chocked out.

The door to the room creaked open, but she rushed inside the wardrobe, and banged on the back of it repeatedly, before they could see who it was. His heart dropped with the realization that they had left Peter and Lucy behind.

"NO," she cried, pounding on the back of the wardrobe. "This isn't happening! Give them back, Aslan. Give them back."

Edmund's heart pounded in his chest until he couldn't take it anymore. He ignored the professor, as he went to wrap his arms around Sue, and pulled her out of the wardrobe. She was shivering, and he was afraid she might be going into shock. _'How am I supposed to explain this to the, Professor? And what about Peter and Lucy? What we're they supposed to tell their mother and father. What am I going to do? Susan. Focus on, Susan.' _

"It'll be alright, Sue. Aslan will take care of them," he said, trying to comfort her as well as himself.

"They belong with us. We belong there. Why won't he let us back in? What have we done wrong?" she cried into his shoulder.

He tried his best to sooth her and get her to calm down, but nothing seemed to help. "It's me isn't? I've been spoiled, and I'm no longer innocent. He no longer wants me there. And he's punishing you for helping me. It's true that I'm no longer worthy of being Queen." _'What? How could she think that? Aslan would think no such thing._ He tried to reassure her of this when the professor made his way up them.

"That's not true my, dear. Aslan has not forsaken you, either of you. You will find your way back to Narnia one day, but not through the wardrobe, no."

Edmund eyes widened in utter disbelief.

"You know about Narnia, Sir?"

The Professor simply smiled with a gleam in his eye. "Oh yes, my boy! I know it very well as a matter of fact. Once a king, or Queen of Narnia. Always a king, or Queen."

Edmund shared an far away look with Susan before she turned her full attention to the professor, trying to pull herself together now. At least she was trying.

"But Peter and Lucy?"

"Aslan must've had a good reason for delaying their return. And they will return, I assure you both. It's only a matter of time," he answered reassuringly, before tossing the baseball at Edmund, who caught it, and blushed. He suddenly remembered having broken the professor's window with it, and that was how they had all ended up in Narnia in the first place.

"I'm sorry about your window, Sir. I promise to be more careful next time," he apologized. The Professor just smiled down at him, not looking angry with him at all. Amused was more like it. Strange fellow, but nice.

"I've no doubt, son. Why don't you take your sister to the kitchen and make her some tea. She looks like she could you a cup."

"I'm not thirsty," she objected.

Edmund grinned a little at her stubbornness, but agreed with the Professor, and he could use a cup of tea himself. The professor then left them alone, and Susan turned to face him, and glared.

"Why are you so calm about this?"

_'Calm? I'm just as worried about them as you are, but I have to be calm for you.'_

"Because I know that Peter and Lucy are capable of taking care of themselves," he answered, taking her her still shaking hand in his. and led her to the kitchen.

"We could never see them again!"

_'Oh please don't cry again, Sue. I can't stand it.' _

"Don't think like that, Sue. We will see them again. I'm sure of it," he said, trying to reassure himself of this as much as her. They entered the kitchen, and she sat down in the chair at the table. She crossed her arms on the top of it, burying her head in them.

"I want to see them now!" she cried, lifting her head up, meeting his eyes, and pushed her hair back and out of her face. "Aslan can't separate us like this. It's not right. We belong together."

Sighing, he knelt down in front of her, and rested his hands on her knees.

"Try and think positive, Sue. You'll only make yourself sick if you keep this up." _'And I don't think I can handle that. Especially not now. You're all I've got. I don't want to be alone." _

"I can't!"

"You heard the, Professor. Aslan knows what he's doing. Trust him."

"I don't think I can anymore. He's taken them away from us."

Knowing that nothing he can say will put her mind at ease, he sighed, and stood up, moving forward to kiss her forehead, which was kind of awkward to accomplish now, because she was once again taller than him, but he managed. He then patted the top of her hand, before going to the oven to start the pot of tea.

**A/N**:Thanks to Ethan for pointing out the King or Queen of Narnia mistake. Fixed it. Glad you enjoyed it despite that little mess up.

**TBC**

Feedback is lovely!


	10. Running away

**Chapter Ten: **Running Away

The next day, Edmund awoke feeling something soft and warm sprawled out against him and slowly opened his eyes to see Susan sleeping next to him. It was then that he realized that he had slept the whole night through without a nightmare and wrapped an arm around her pulling her closer. She started mumbling something in her sleep.

Even in when sleeping, her expression was troubled and he sighed kissing her forehead. Her eyes blinked open and widen for a moment when she saw him then they lowered as she relaxed. "Morning sunshine," he couldn't help but tease.. "Crept in here in the middle of the night did you? What would Mrs Macready say to that?" She blushed a little.

"I couldn't sleep by myself," she simply answered slowly sitting up. "I won't do it again if it bothers you so much." He slowly sat up and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"It doesn't bother me. I feel the best of felt since..." he paused unable to continue and tried telling her with his eyes what he was trying to say. She nodded at him in understanding.

"What do you want to do today?" she suddenly asked getting off the bed and stared down at him. He propped himself up on his elbows staring back up at her.

"What do you want to do?" he asked back, not really knowing what to do himself. He forgot how boring it was here.

"I don't know. That's why I asked you," she explained. He smiled a little as he sat up straight and stretched.

"I don't know either. We could try getting a hold of mum and tell her about..." he paused as she shook her head cutting him off.

"Mum wouldn't understand. Quite frankly, I don't understand why Aslan has separated us. I miss them so much already." Her eyes started to tear up again and he sighed.

"Me too. But mum has to know."

"About what?" she snapped starting to pace back and fourth in front of the bed. "About a magical land where we were once King and Queen. Where Peter and Lucy still are. She'll think we're crazy and we'll end up in the nut house."

"But the Professor," he tried to persuade her, but she wouldn't budge.

"You think she'll actually believe him? She'll think that he's just as nutty as we are and he'll possibly be accused of murdering them and corrupting us into believing in such a place."

He sighed wondering where she was going with this.

"Then what do you suggest we tell her Sue?"

She snorted.

"I'm not suggesting we tell her anything. I'm suggesting we run away."

His eyes widened in disbelief. The Susan he knew would never suggest they run away. But she has been through a lot and he wondered if she was still the Susan he once knew. A part of him though, could understand her sense of reasoning and knew that even if they did tell their mum, she most likely would not believe them. But run away?

"Susan. We can't," he tried to protest.

"Yes we can. Run away with me Edmund. We'll start over and change our names." Has she completely gone mad? She surely wasn't thinking straight.

"But Sue. What will we do? Where will we live? We're not old enough to get jobs anymore. We're bloody kids now! We wouldn't survive on the streets. Especially in the middle of a damn war. You're not thinking straight," he protested quite loudly. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Come with me or don't come with me. Either way, I'm not staying here anymore," she seethed spinning around and headed for the door. He quickly threw the covers off and jumped off the bed running after her and somehow managed to get between her and the door, blocking her. "Let me out," she spat.

"No. I'm not letting you leave me," he spat back. She stared him down, but he just stared defiantly right back.

"Move," her eyes were hard and voice threatening, but he wasn't ready to let her go too.

"You're not going anywhere without me," he surrendered. He knew there was no way to stop Susan from running away and he would be damned before he would let her face the cruel world alone. Her eyes softened and she smiled. He smiled back.

"We leave when everyone is asleep. Start packing and I'll come back for you later. And hey. Don't worry," she said cupping his cheek."Your big sister won't let anything happen to you."

"It's not me I'm worried about."

She sighed letting her hand drop back to her side.

"I know. But your big sister can take care of herself too." She gave him a big hug before brushing by him, opened the door and left. _'What have we just gotten ourselves into'_ he wondered hoping they hadn't just made the biggest mistake of their lives. He would never forgive himself if something happens to Susan. Not again.

When night fell, Susan met him in his room, holding a few duffel bags. He was also holding a few duffel bags of his own before slowly closing the door to the boys room and followed Susan down the stairs trying to be quite and looking out for Mrs Macready.

They somehow managed to sneak out of the house without being caught and ran.

"Susan what do you think you're doing?" he cried as Susan helped him up into the horse buggy and then she gathered the horses mounting them to it.

"We can't very well get far on foot now can we? And we'll need the horses to sell for money so we can have a place to stay, at least for a few days" she explained as if it didn't bother her at all, getting in the front seat and taking the reins. "Giddy UP," she said slapping the reins and they were off.

"Susan, this is steeling. We're not thieves," he shouted, he voice carrying through the wind as tried to hold on to the bags.

"We're not steeling," she hollered back. "We're merely borrowing. I do intend to pay back the Professor somehow in the future." He couldn't believe they were actually doing this. What have they turned into? Susan had suddenly turned into the white witch as he stared up at her from the buggy. He shook his head and closed his eyes trying to forget about her and remain calm. He opened his eyes and it was Susan again, who was nothing like the white witch. Nothing like her at all. So why did the emptiness in her eyes now scare him so much?

TBC

PLEASE REVIEW! They really are appreciated!


	11. What if?

**Chapter Eleven: **What if?

_Edmund was walking through the woods when he felt a sudden chill come over him. "You're too late," the white witches voice seemed to flow with the wind and he froze, looking around. _

_"WHY WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE?" he shouted trying to wake himself up somehow just knowing this was a dream._

_"You can't save her now." _

_Edmund's fist cleanched. _

_"YOU LEAVE HER ALONE," he screamed again knowing she was talking about Susan. _

_"You're too late," the witch simply said again before Susan suddenly apeared before him and his eyes widened. _

_"Sue. Are you alright?" he reached out for her, but she took a step back. _

_"It's all your fault." _

_He didn't understand. _

_"Sue?"_

_"You let that Prince rape me," she accused and Edmund couldn't believe she was saying these things. _

_"I didn't," his voice choked up and he felt tears threatening to fall. _

_"You could've stopped him." _

_"I couldn't." _

_"You're a coward. I wish Peter was with me now instead of you." _

_He felt like she had just kicked him in the gut. _

_"Why are you saying this? I would've done anything to stop him Sue." _

_"Lier. That's all you ever do is lie." Edmund couldn't take it anymore and pressed his hands against his ears.. This wasn't Susan. It couldn't be. She would never say those aweful, hurtful things to him. _

_"You're not Sue. LEAVE ME ALONE," he cried shaking his head and when he looked up again it was the White Witch standing before him now with a sickening grin on her face. _

_"Enjoy your time with your dear sister while you can my dear Edmund."  
_

_"What's that supposed to mean?" The witch dissapeared without an answer and everything went black. _

His eyes flew open and he pushed himself up and looked down to see Susan curled up on her side with her back facing him still asleep. He sighed with relief and reached over to run his fingers through her hair and let his memory drift back to last night and how they got here.

_He was shocked when Susan pulled out the money for their hotel room and demanded to know where she got it. _

_"The Professor," she simply answered._

_"You stole it? It's bad enough we stole the horses," he whypered harshly back while the attendant went to get the key to their room. _

_"You worry too much Edmund. I'll pay him back." _

_"What's gotten into you?" he hissed just as the man came back and handed Susan the key with a look he knew all too well in his eyes and wished he was an adult again so he could hit him. _

_"Here you go little lady. I hope your parents get here soon. It's not safe for two youngsters like yourselves to be out and about alone at a time like this." _

_"Thank you sir! I'm sure they will," she said excepting the key . _

_"Sue," Edmund protested again as they made their way to their room and Susan groaned. _

_"Look. Do you want a roof over your head or not? Quit complaining. Everything's going be alright," she tried to comfort but it did little good. _

Edmund shook away the memory and laid back down wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her closer.

"Mmm...Edmund?" Her eyes blinked tiredly open and she looked at him with worry. "What wrong?"

"Nothing. Go back to sleep," he said not wanting to burden her with his nightmare.

"Nightmare again?" she probed pushing herself up into a sitting position.

"It's nothing," he said again hoping she would let it go.

"Edmund?" she pleaded lifting her hand and brushed some bangs lightly from his forehead. "Tell me." Edmund couldn't say no to those eyes and caved.

"It was you. You were saying these aweful things to me. It wasn't you though. You would never say those things. It was the White Witch and she told me to enjoy my time with you while I can."

"It was a dream Edmund. The White Witch is dead. She can't hurt you here," she tried to assure him, manovering him so that his head cradled into her lap and petted his hair, which he found very soothing.

"What if she's not though? What if she's still alive and is somehow here in our world, huanting me? What if she's using you to get to me?"

"Edmund. She's dead. And if she was using me, I'd know," she said determendly. Edmund so desperately wanted to believe her.

"Would you?" he probed looking up into her eyes.

"What are trying to say Edmund?"

"You're not acting like yourself. You're acting more like...her."

Susan's hands hands stopped petting his hair and she stared down at him with hurt in her eyes and probed, "How can you say that? I'm trying to protect you. You ungrateful little prat." Susan's eyes widen in shock and her hand flew up to cover her mouth.

"There. You see. You would never call me that. Not even when I was an ungrateful little prat," he pointed out fear for Susan filling his heart. She slowly let her hand fall back down on the bed.

"Oh god Edmund. I didn't mean to say that. What's happening to me?" she cried covering her face shamefully with her hands. Edmund instantly sat up and pulled her in for a hug.

"I don't know. But I'm not going to lose you to her. I swear I'll find away to stop her."

"What if you can't? What if you're right and she takes over me here? What does that mean for this world?" Edmund wished he had answer to calm her fear but he didn't.

"I don't know Susan. I don't know," he clung to her and ran his fingers through her hair. She drew back, still holding him at arms length.

"I want to apologize in advance for anything I say or do that offends you." Edmund sighed but nodded. "I wish Peter and Lucy were here." Edmund nodded again.

"Me too. But remember Narnian times different then our time. They may be long dead now for all we know," he said sadly and bitterly wishing more than anything to be back in Narnia again. Even if if Peter and Lucy are dead. At least they'd know. Susan choked back a sob and crawled off the bed.

"Why would he do this? Seperate us like this. It just doesn't make sense."

"Sue..."

"Unless it's something I did."

"Susan sto..

"He hates me."

"SUSAN STOP IT! It's not you. If anything, he hates me."

She narrowed her eyes at him and retorted, "How can he hate you? You weren't the one that was..."

"Bloody hell Sue! Aslan doesn't hate you because you were raped. If anything, he hates me because I failed to protect you from that bastard," Edmund shouted back jumping off the bed facing her.

" Edmund, we've been through this. It wasn't your fault. What's done, is done. We have to focus on what happens now," she said moving towards the window of their room.

"Let's go back to Professor Kirk's house Sue. We'll be safer there. And he knows about Narnia. He may be the only one who can help us if..." he couldn't finish the sentance. Not standing the thought of Susan turning into the White Witch. Instead he said, "You know it's the right thing to do." He made his way towards her and laid a comforting hand on her arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. She folded her arms against her chest with a heavy sigh and nodded.

"You're right. Start getting the bags ready. I just need a minute." Edmund nodded and went to do as he was told hoping they'd make it back to the Professor's house safely.

**TBC**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	12. Something wicked this way comes

_**A/N**__:OMG! An update! I can't believe it's been a year since I updated this fic. But hey, at least I haven't given up on it right? _

_**Chapter Tweelve:**__Something wicked this way comes_

_Someone is choking him, and Edmund grasped at the hands, trying to pry them off. His eyes flew open and they widen in shock at seeing that it was Susan hovering above him and trying to kill him with a dark look in her eyes. It wasn't Susan though. She would never try and kill him. _

His eyes flew open again, and he's back in his room at the Professor's house. Susan is hovering above him still, but was not choking him. Instead she was staring worriedly down at him while she placed a wet rag on his forehead with care . It's then Edmund remembered that they had returned to the Professors house late last night and he had bloody fainted upon entering the the mansion again, feeling sick to his stomach.

He remembered the Professor exclaiming with worry, "Oh dear, the poor boy!" before he was being picked up and carried back to his room where Susan had stayed by his side it seemed since.

"You're awake," Susan said, running her fingers comfortingly through his hair. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," he answered truthfully, earning a giggle from Susan, who patted him on the arm.

"You'll be better in no time. You're fever's already started to break," she said with relief in her voice.

"Why thank you Doctor Sue!" he retorted sarcastically, even though he was grateful that she had been taking care of him. He tried to sit up, but felt nausious and fell back down. Yeah,shit was the right word.

"Was the Professor mad at us?" he probed, getting tired of the silence. Susan shook her head.

"He was dissapointed, but not mad. And was happy that we returned," she answered, running her hand down his arm until they reached his hand, lacing their fingers together. "I was worried. Don't scare me like that again Edmund."

Edmund somehow had the streangth to lift her hand up, bringing it to his lips, and kissed her knuckles, promising, "I'll try my best for you dear sister."

"It's strange," she said, while Edmund is suddenly facinated with her hand, and started playing with her fingers, she continued, "The last time you were this young. You'd die before you'd call me dear sister or even act like you care."

"I was rotten then wasn't I? But never again Sue. And I'll always care about you. I cared about you then, Lucy too, Peter sort of. Even though I couldn't say it."

She smiled, bending down to press a soft kiss against his cheek.

"Rest now, my dear brother. I won't be far," she said, getting off the bed, and made her way to the one Peter used to use. She sat down, grabbing the book from the nightstand and started reading. He watched her silently for a moment before staring up at the ceiling, and fell asleep shortly after.

_The next time Edmund awoke, it was dark, and he looked over at Peter's bed to see Susan curled up on her side, barely visible in the shadows. "Beautiful isn't she my dear Edmund?" Jadis suddenly appeared at Susan's bedside, running her fingers through Sue's hair, turning her over on her back. He sat up hastily, wishing desperately that he had his sword. "What will you do without her?" she said, trying to get under his skin, but he wasn't about to let her get the better of him. Not this time. _

_"You're not here. This is just another dream. You're not real." _

_"Oh, I'm here Edmund. And I'm very real. Say goodbye to your precious sister," the White Witch taunted, lifting her old wand above Susan and slammed it down in her chest._

"SUSAN NOOOO!" he cried, sitting bolt right up in bed, and grabbed at his aching heart._ 'Don't cry, don't cry. Don't wake up Sue. She needs her rest.' _But since when did reality ever listen to him?

"Edmund? Not again. We've really got to do something about these nightmares of yours," he heard Susan say as she sat at the edge of his bed. He flung himself into her arms, nearly tipping them both over the edge of the bed.

"Don't leave me Sue. Please don't leave me," he sobbed into her shoulder while she gently rubbed her hand up and down his back.

"This is getting ridiculas. You need help. Maybe I should get the Professor. He might..."

"No! I don't want the bloody Professor Sue. I want you. Don't leave me," he continued sobbing, burying his face in her hair. He felt pathetic. He should be stronger than this and not have to cling to anyone. But without Susan by side now, he's all alone and he can't bear the thought of it.

**TBC**

**A/N:**I'm still thinking of doing the ed/su version of this fic. Should I? In the mean time I'm trying to give you all hoping for it the ed/su-ness in this one without actually turning it into an incest fic. I know there's a couple of you out there wanting the pairing at least. **Please do be kind and review!**

**HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!**


	13. Temptation

**A/N:** I was reluctant to post this chapter. But hope it's worth the wait anyway.

**Chapter Two: **Temptation

"Edmund," Susan said, pulling away, but Edmund didn't want to be separated from her completely yet. He tugged her back a little, holding her at arms length, Susan continued with a sigh, "If you won't talk to me about them. At least talk to the Professor. It will help to talk to someone. For me?" She pressed a soft kiss on his forehead. He sighed, nodding. How can he refuse his beloved sister anything?

"Okay. I'll talk to him. For you. But I doubt it will do any good," he said, slowly letting Susan go. She smiled, getting off the bed and walked back to Peter's old one. He watched her go a moment again wondering what the hell was wrong with him before laying back down and tried to get some sleep in before morning.

Morning eventually came, Edmund blinked his eyes open, and yawned as he pushed himself up into a sitting possition on the bed. He reached his arms obove his head for good streatch before crawling off the bed. He looked over at Susan, still asleep and watched the sunlight shining through the window dance on her fair skin, making her look like an angel.

"Tempting isn't it?"

Edmund startled at the voice from behind and spun around to see Jadis standing there with an suggestive glint in her eyes and a knowing grin.

"What?" he probed, wondering if he was completely going mad now. He knew he was not asleep and yet, here the witch was again. Jadis smiled, but it was anything but pleasent as she stepped up closer into his personal space and started circling around him, looking him up and down.

"Your sister. You want her. I can see it your eyes my dear Edmund. There's no sin in taking what you want. Kiss her. You know you want it," Jadis said, inclining her head down at Susan. His eyes widened as he understood her meaning and shook his head.

"I'm just a boy now. It's wrong. And like you pointed out. She's my sister! I love her, yes. But not that way," Edmund protested, but Jadis just looked like she doesn't believe him.

"It's a sin to lie Edmund. Even to yourself. And you know all sinners eventually belong to me."

"Then why are you trying to get me to tell the truth?"

He flinched at that, wondering what the hell he meant by that himself. There was no truth here. He did not want to kiss Susan. His own bloody sister! Did he?

Jadis dissapeared, and Edmund felt a hand grip his shoulder. He spun around to find Susan looking down at him with worry and concern.

"Who were you talking to?"

Edmund shrugged her hand off his shoulder, stumbling backwords and almost fell flat on his ass on the floor.

"No one. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine Edmund. You look scared to death. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing. Don't worry about me. I'm going to talk to the Professor now," he ended the conversation, throwing on a robe and hurried out the door. He needed to get away from Susan before he did something he knew they would both end up regretting.

Edmund nocked on the Professor's study door, taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. His new more than brotherly love feelings for Susan were troubling him deeply. But were they really new or had they been there since he was forced to watch Rabadash rape her? He didn't know when presicely they had started and it was scaring the hell out of him.

"Come in," the Professor called from the otherside. Edmund took one more deep breath before opening the door and walked in. The old man looked up and a delighted smile apeared on his face.

"Hope I'm not interupting anything Professor."

"Why I'm always delighted to be interupted my dear boy. Pull up a chair," Professor Kirk exclaimed, taking off his reading glasses and set them down on the table. Edmund nodded, grabbing a chair by the wall and pulled up in front of the desk. He sat down and folded his hands together his lap, feeling completely at a loss of what to do. Kirk was patient and waited for him to speak on his own.

Gathering all his courage, he finally looked up, making eye contact.

"I'm no good at this. Talking about my feelings you know," he started, and itched behind his ear, trying to find some form of distraction. Kirk nodded in understanding, leaning back in his chair, and waited patiently again for him to continue, he took another deep breath before saying, "I think I've gone and done something incredibly stupid Professor. I know mum and dad would...no will be ashamed of me." He leaned back in his own chair, and hugged himself as if protecting himself from the agony he knew was to come.

The Professor looked concerned now.

"What is it you think you've done Edmund?"

He closed his eyes, admitting with complete and utter defeat, "I think I've fallen in love with Susan. There can be no other explaination for the nightmares." He opened his eyes to see the Professor looking at him surprised and stunned, but not repulsed or disgusted.

Edmund didn't know how to feel about that. He was sure the old man would despise him and want him out. Loving ones own sister is wrong. He knew that.

"Why don't you start from the beginning?"

So Edmund told Kirk the tale of how Susan was raped, to their rescue, of Susan trying kill herself, their fighting over Edmund wanting to protect her, then comforting each other, to their finding their way back to the lamp post and wardrobe without Lucy and Peter, then back here. He told him of the White Witch in his nightmares, about how she was trying to kill Susan, or Susan would try and kill him. How she had told him that it wasn't wrong to kiss Susan.

"Ah, I see why you would be troubled. Dreams are still a very mysterious thing."

"But I'm seeing her while I'm awake now Professor. She's with me everywhere I go. I can't get away from her. No matter how hard I try."

"Yes. You may be seeing her or you may not be. There may be something more in this house than meets the eye. Like I told Peter and Susan. It's still a very strange house. Even I know very little about it."

Edmund nodded, still not feeling any better about the new situation.

"Now why don't you go have breakfast in your room. The maids are preparing it and will be delivering it shortly."

Edmund nodded, standing from his chair and moved it back in front of the wall before starting to head for the door. He stopped before opening it and turned back around, looking back at the Professor. "Thank you Professor."

"You're welcome son! Tell Susan I said good morning." With that the old man picked his glasses back up, put them on, and went back to his book work. Edmund smiled at his understanding and not kicking him out before walking out the door and back to his and Susan room.

He wished Peter and Lucy were here now more than ever. Things would be a lot less complicated between him and Susan that's for sure.

**To Be Continued.**

**A/N: **So sorry to those hoping for only strong sibling bonding. I couldn't resist turning this into an Ed/Su incest fic. I understand if you don't want to continue reading it. Blame Jadis. She was whypering 'Do it' into my ear all night long. It's all entirely her fault. Hope you all like this chapter though. **And please do review! They really are appreciated.**


	14. We are

**A/N: **This chapter is inspired by the song 'We Are' by Ana Johnsson

**Chapter Fourteen**:We are

"How was your talk with Professor Kirk?" Susan probed, once they had finished their breakfast, and the maids have taken their dishes away. Edmund's eyes lowered to her too tempting pretty lips for just a second.

Thankfully, Susan didn't seem to notice his staring, or she just didn't get it. He felt himself blush, and avoided eye contact. God, how much more embarresing can these weird feelings of his get?

"Fine Susan. You seriously worry too much for your own good," he replied, folding his hands in his lap. He stared down at them helplessly a moment before managing to look up and see Susan staring at him with concern.

"If you say so. Hey, I got an idea. Why don't we go outside and play tag? I think someone needs a little cheering up time," she suggested, standing up from her chair, and made her way around Edmund's.

She came to a stand besides his chair, and he looked up. She was smiling down at him with a hopeful look that he'll agree in her eyes. He sighed, hating to disapoint her, but he just didn't feel like playing right now.

"If it's all the same to you Susan? I'm really not in the mood to play anything right now." He just wanted to be left alone so he could think about...things. But apparently, Susan was having none of his broodiness this morning.

"Oh, come on little brother. We haven't gotten a chance to have any kind of fun since we left Narnia," Susan pouted, pleading him with her even more pretty blue eyes. Edmund groaned, covering his face with his hands.

_'Don't give in. Don't give in. Don't give in. Once you give in, you never stop giving in,' _he silently warned himself.

"I'll even try and tag you first," she bribed. Oh, how she knew to appeal to his bad boy side. It really isn't fair. He sighed again.

"Fine, have it your way then. Let's go," he agreed against his better judgemet, standing from the chair. He grabbed Susan by the wrist, leading her out of the room, and all the way to the back yard. She was staring at him with surprise once they were outside, freeing her wrist from his , she let the matter drop in favor of the game.

"I'll give you a ten second start, since I've got longer legs than you," she teased, smiling a little. He glared at the insult.

"Perhaps you do, but I'm still faster," he said, turning around. He ran ahead, and groaned when she caught up to him, tagging him on the shoulder. He spun around, and started chasing her. He grasped her hand once he caught up to her, and tugged her foreward.

She gasped, freezing in place. He lifted her hand, pressing a soft kiss on the top of it. She looked down at him with surprise.

With a satysfied grin, he declaired, "Tag, you're it!"

He let go of her hand, and started to run away from her again.

After an hour, give or take some minutes, of playing tag, Edmund sat down on the nearest bench so he could try and catch his breath. Susan sat down next to him to do the same. She rested her head on his shoulder, causing him to startle a little. He relaxed after a few seconds, resting his cheek against her hair. He might as well enjoy this moment of closeness with her.

"Do you think about them at all?" her gentle, but curious voice broke the comfortable silence.

Sighing, he replied, "Of course I do. Why do you ask?"

"It's just that sometimes it seems like...like you've moved on without them."

He sighed, lifting his head from hers. She lifted hers as well , so that they were now facing each other on the bench.

"You still think I don't care don't you?" he probed, hoping that's not what she thought. They have already talked about this. He missed Peter and Lucy grately. But he knew they could take care of themselves. And besides, he knew that Aslan would watch over them.

Susan lowered her eyes mournfully, and he lowered his eyes to her lips. He wanted nothing more right then, then somehow to make her feel better.

Knowing he shouldn't, he lifted Susan's chin with his index and middle fingers, leaning foreward. Susan's eyes widened in shock at his actions. She pulled back, gaping back at him.

"What are you doing?" she probed quietly.

"I honestly don't know. I just wanted to make you feel better," he told her the truth. She pushed herself away from his reach and up off of the bench.

"I think we should go back inside now," she said, not looking at him. He hoped he hadn't messed things up between them by giving into his...feelings. He watched her go back inside, and buried his face in his hands.

_'I'm bloody screwed.'_

Later that day, Edmund found Susan in the library with her nose buried in some book. He forced himself to walk over, and sit down next to her on the couch. She had been avoiding him ever since this morning, and seemed content with ignoring him now. Well, he was going to talk to her whether she liked it or not. Even if she isn't going to talk to him back.

"Look, Susan. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable this morning. I just wanted to make you feel better okay?" he tried to appologize. She looked over at him from the corner of her eye briefly before turning her attention back to her bloody book.

"You're forgiven. Now I'd really like to be left alone so I can read in peace," she said, waving him away. He glared at the affending hand gesture, capturing it with one of his own, while he plucked the book out of her other with his free hand, and tossed it carelessly aside.

"Stop it Susan. Just, don't this okay? You're giving me the cold shoulder, and I don't like it," he warned. He hated being ignored, and wasn't one to just let it go. She glared at him, then sighed, nodding.

"You're right. I'm sorry. You just really caught me off gaurd this morning. I had no idea you felt that way about me. And it's, for goodness sake Edmund Pevensie. What do you think you're doing? This is wrong on so many levels. You're my brother! You can't love me. Not like that."

"I know, I know," he agreed with complete and utter defeat. But he just can't help the way he feels. "I'm sorry Sue. I never meant for any of this to happen. It just did."

"Please, Edmund! I just need to be away from you right now. We'll talk more later alright?" she probed, getting up to pick up the book he had thrown on the floor, and walked out of the library. He watched her go, leaning back against the couch, wondering if he's made a terrible mistake.

**TBC**

Please, feedback is always lovely!


	15. A late return

**A/N:**Sorry about the short chapter. But hey, at least it's a quicker update than the last one right. Enjoy!

**Chapter Fifteen**:A late return

A few days later, Susan had still yet to speak with him, and Edmund is quite frankly getting sick and tired of it. And what made it worse was that Peter and Lucy had come back stumbling through the wardrobe, and into their lives yesterday afternoon again which gave Susan even more of an opportunity to avoid him because now she spent all her time with Peter, and helping Lucy through the grief of not being in Narnia anymore.

He could tell Peter was getting suspicious, and concerned as to why Susan was not speaking with him. He knew it was just a matter of time before Peter asked him about it, and he was right.

Later that evening, in the bed Susan had kept warm in their older brother's absence, Peter propped himself up on his elbow, staring across at him with worry in his eyes, and finally asked him the unavoidable question, "Okay Ed. Are you going to tell me what's going on between you and Susan now, and why you're not speaking to each other?"

Edmund shook his head in dismay.

"Why don't you ask her? You're with her all the time now aren't you? What else is new?" he replied, flinching a little at the nastiness in his tone. He didn't have to turn and look to know that Peter was staring at him with a stunned expression.

"That doesn't sound you Edmund. What's wrong?"

Edmund snorted, trying to avoid answering that question.

"No, I haven't sounded like myself since I met Aslan. But we aren't in Narnia anymore. And now I'm sounding like myself. You don't like it? You can just stay out of my face," he said nastily again, knowing he's being unfair to Peter. He just couldn't stop himself from being a rather rotton bugger at the moment.

Heartache sucks. And it didn't help that he was jealous as hell of Peter right now, who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He sighed, turning over on his side, and tried to get some sleep.

"I did ask Susan what going on between you two. But she's just as stubborn as you are. We'll talk more about what that was all about by the way in the morning. Goodnight Ed," Peter said, yawning, and turned off the lamp on his nightstand so that was now dark in the room. At least he could finally get some peace and quiet now. He closed his eyes, but sleep didn't come easily, and when it did, he wished it hadn't followed him.

_Edmund was walking through the hall, and came to halt when he saw Peter walking towards her, and then leaned in close to Susan in the middle of it. Their older brother framed her face delicately in his hands, and then kissed her softly on the lips that he had dreamt about kissing himself for days. Peter always gets what he wants, while Edmund is left to rot for all he cared. He felt his heart turn to ice, and he spun around and ran, away from them, away from it all. How could they do this to him? Susan knows how he felt about her. He hastily wiped away the tears with the back of his hand._

His eyes flew open, and he shot up in bed, holding his hands against too fast beating heart. It was just dream. Another nightmare. He's getting so sick and tired of these bloddy nightmares too. And now they had to bring Peter into them. Just bloody brilliant.

_"He's going to steal her heart away from you. You know what you have to do,"_ Jadis's voice whispered in his ear. He covered them both, banging his head back against his pillows.

"I'm not listening. You're not real. Leave me the bloody hell alone," he shot back, squeezing eyes just, and tried to ignore the witch.

_"I'm only trying to help you get what you want...before Peter does," _she said more loudly this time. He shook his head, and started humming to try and tune her out. He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder, and nearly tumbled out of the bed, startled.

"It's okay Ed. It was just a nightmare. Go back to sleep," Peter said, hovering above him, trying to sound soothing. But Edmund wasn't in the mood to be soothed. He just wanted Peter to get the bloody hell out of his face, so he shoved him off the bed as hard as he could.

He gasped, shocked at his own traiterous actions. He looked over the edge of the bed to see Peter pushing himself up, and then looking down at him in utter disbelief, while rubbing his backside.

Had it been under any other circomstances, seeing Peter like that would've made him laugh.

"Ow! What the bloody hell was that for?"

"I'm...I'm sorry Peter. I thought you were someone else," he lied. Peter narrowed his eyes. He's obviously not buying the lie for a second.

"Now you're lying? I know you saw me. Edmund, something going on with you. And you're going to tell me what it is before this strange behavior of yours gets anymore out of hand."

Edmund glared through narrowed eyes now at the returned older brother. He's forgotten how much Peter's bossiness had annoyed him as a child. Now that he pretty much was one again, except in memory and soul, it's all coming back to him. Along with the bad attitude, which he blamed this time entirely on his broken heart.

"In case you haven't notice... Peter? We aren't in Narnia anymore. I don't have to tell you a bloody thing," he snapped, laying back down, and stared blankly up at the ceiling.

"I'm still the High King. And your older brother. I'm just worried about you and Susan, and why you're not talking to each other," Peter argued back, making his way over to sit on the edge of his own bed.

"I don't need your worry. I'm fine. I just want to be left alone." He covered his face with a pillow hoping Peter will get the hint and just shut it already.

"Okay. If that's what you want. But we're still talking more about this tomarrow."

Peter was quiet after that. Thank god.

He himself couldn't sleep another wink that night though

**TBC**

Please, feedback is always lovely!


	16. Home run

**Chapter Sixteen**:Home run

Sometime the next day, Edmund was watching his siblings play baseball outside, trying not to glare in Peter's direction. He realized this morning at breakfast that it really isn't becoming of him anymore.

He was not the same prat he'd been before he met Aslan. He may still have a bit of an attitude problem that needed adjustment, but he was better than he was now. Still though, Susan practically spending all of her time their older brother still while ignoring him really hurt.

Peter still hasn't tried to resume the conversation from the night before, and he wondered if he forgot. Or if he just decided that Edmund just isn't worth the effort anymore. Either way, he was relieved that Peter just decided to leave him alone about it after all.

"Come on Ed. It's your turn." Peter walked him over to him, offering him the bat, trying to get him to play.

He shook his head no.

"Remeber what happened the last time I played the batter?" he probed, stepping back a little.

"We know you'll be more careful this time. Now come on. You sitting there glaring at me from a distance isn't really becoming of you anymore," Peter encouraged, tapping him on the shoulder with the end of the bat playfully.

Edmund blinked rapidly. Has he really been that bad? He thought he's been at least toning his glaring down a bit today. He shook his head at himself, snatching the bat from Peter's hand, "Alright. I'll play if it'll get you off my bloody back about it. But don't say I didn't warn you."

He marched his way over to home base, standing in front of Susan. Their eyes met. It was piercing and sweet. And is she blushing? Then she's looking away, and facing Peter's direction, preparing to catch the ball in case he striked.

Interesting.

Feeling more bold than before, he tapped the end of the bat against the ground. He swung it back over his shoulder, preparing to hit the ball.

"Ready Ed?" Peter probed, tossing the ball from one hand to the other, getting ready to pitch it.

"Are you?" he hollered back. Peter smiled, pitching the ball.

Edmund hit it out of the park.

Figure of speach of course, but it was still too far away for Peter or Lucy to run after, and grab it, then tag him with it, before he slammed into home base. They all knew it. He shrugged his shoulders, feeling rather smug, "Home run!"

He was grateful that he didn't end up smashing any windows this time.

Peter called it a game, and practically stomped his way back inside, cursing under his breath. Edmund smirked after him. The sore loser.

Lucy ran up to him, giving him a hug. He couldn't help but hug her a little back. He did miss her a lot while they had been separated.

They still haven't talked about why Aslan had kept her and Peter longer. But he supposed it didn't really matter. They were back now, and Susan's happy about that, and that made him happy, even though she's still not speaking to him.

He suddenly felt a little guilty, not to mention really childish for giving his dear little sister the cold shoulder. It isn't Lucy's fault that Susan preferred Peters' company over him recently after all.

"You did it! You did it! I just knew you could. That was so great Edmund," Lucy congratulated him, pulling away. He tucked a stray lock of brown hair behind her ear, thanking her.

"Thanks Lu."

Her twinkling eyes, and bright smile told him all is forgiven. He smiled back, turning to face Susan, but she was already heading back inside.

He felt a tug of foreboding. Lucy was looking at him with sympathy from the side. She placed her hand in his, lacing their fingers together, and gave it a gently squeeze. He squeezed a little back with gratitude.

A little while later, Edmund's reading alone in the library when Susan settled herself down next to him on the couch, opening her own book. She set it on her lap, and threw him a soft smile before looking down and started to read. He knew she wasn't going to ignore him anymore, and smiled a little in return, even though she isn't looking before getting on with his own reading.

A comfortable silence settled over the two dark haired Pevensies' for awhile while they read.

He was glad she didn't seem disgusted with him because of his feelings for her.

_'You know what you have to do,' _he heard Jadis's voice again, and jumped, startled, nearly sending his book flying to the floor. Susan looked up at him from her own book with concern.

"Are you alright?" she probed.

He nodded yes, not wanting to worry her. She obviously didn't hear the voice, so that meant there just had to be something wrong with him. She set her book aside, reaching over to give his shoulder a comforting squeeze. She's suddenly leaning in close, bringing their foreheads together, "When are you going to start trusting me?"

"I do trust you." He couldn't believe she even thought for one second that he didn't.

"Then why won't you tell me what's going on with you? I'm not stupid Edmund. I know something's very wrong here."

She pulled away, taking all the warmth with her.

"I just can't okay. It's nothing against you," he snapped, hating to sound like a jerk. Especially to Susan. But there were some things even he wants to keep to himself thank you very much.

_'You know what you have to do,'_ Edmund hears the witch's voice again. And before he knows what he's doing, he's bloody kissing her. His sweet, innocent, and gentle Susan. His older sister. What an idiot.

But surprisingly, she isn't pushing him away.

Instead, she's kissing him back, wrapping her arms around his neck. She lifted her hand, gripping his shirt, and tugged him closer. He wrapped his arms around her small waist, deepening the kiss. She smiles against his lips. He smiles back, pulling away, and rubbed their noses together gently.

_We're both idiots then_.

**The End.**

**A/N:** I'm sorry to say that this story has now come to an end. And is like my longest Narnian fanfic yet. I do hope you've all enjoyed it, despite it turning into incest. I just have a major weakness for the Edmund/Susan pairing I suppose, and was just dying to explore it at least once, since it's practically none existant. There's even more Peter/Lucy out there than there is Edmund/Susan. I just don't understand it. They make such an awesome pairing to work with.


End file.
